“Am I ready to go home?”

There’s a famous line on certainty in life * — nothing is sure except taxes and death. While sounding grim, it is real though most of us wouldn’t think of death on a daily basis. Well, until the shadow of death came knocking on my door. The very thing that keeps us alive threatened to shut me down. My airways were blocked and prevented me from breathing. And it came with no prior warning. I had no history of allergies nor respiratory illnesses.

The backstory

It happened during a company event in Genting Highlands. Throughout the day, I was my usual self and feeling energetic. It was meant to be a celebration and engagement as everyone had put in their creative ideas in dressing up as professionals — the corporate people, pilots, doctors, army officers, nurses, police and so on. Although I was mildly coughing during the event, it wasn’t too bothersome and I had a great time.

It was time for rest but in the middle of the night, I woke up and all of a sudden, found myself struggling to breathe. This wasn’t any feeling that I’d experienced but I defaulted to my self-reliant mode and reached for warm water thinking it would help. However, the wheezing continued and taking one breath was getting too hard. A few seconds later, my airway was almost blocked and I could no longer control my breathing. I was now in panic mode, unable to help myself and in the few seconds I managed to catch some air, I uttered to my roommate “ HELP ME!”. She swung into action and rallied my other colleagues to bring me down to the hotel lobby. Upon seeing them, I felt a sense of relief and got emotional as I let out soft sobs. That didn’t help and my airway was blocked again and my friend reminded me to stay calm to regulate my breathing (or what little capacity was left to breathe).

The “longest” ride

It surely felt that way when I’m not sure if the next minute would be my last breath. Ambulance in Genting Highlands was difficult to get, especially in the dead of the night. Thus, Joseph, my brother-in-law, decided he would drive me down to Pantai Hospital, KL for treatment. The visibility was really low that night with fog enveloping the atmosphere. Truly, it was the longest ride of my life. I tried to focus on breathing while keeping watch at the GPS’ estimated time of arrival. Every minute felt like forever and I do not know when my airways will seize up again. It was at this time that I began communicating with God on my mortality. I remembered a client of mine who had an asthma attack but didn’t make it through, although she had reached the hospital. I thought “would that be me as well?”.

Dialogue with God

Yet, amidst the racing thoughts, I had a sense of clarity of who I am and who is in charge of my life. I know God has the authority to give and take away. Though the question remains — was I ready to meet Him? I spoke to God in my mind. “Oh God, if you were to bring me home today, I am ok. I know who I belong to. My sins are cleansed, and I am redeemed in the blood of Christ.” But in a split second, I paused. I thought of my husband and three teenage children. It would definitely be difficult for them to lose a wife and mother. I wasn’t bargaining with God nor retracting my earlier claims but I honestly believed the family still needs me. “If You are willing, by Your grace, keep me alive.” That prayer gave me an assurance that I can be content with whatever the outcome is for I know my God already has planned all things out in His time and purpose.

As the car made its way to the hospital, I was still able to walk myself to the emergency entrance. When I got there, my emotions got the better of me and once more the airways choked up. The nurse at the reception called out “RED” to the team and I was immediately brought to a bed and put on the nebulizer to ease the airways. I was admitted for a few days for monitoring and there was no clear reason for the incident. The only possibility I could think of was the hotel at Genting Highlands was dusty due to ongoing renovations. I am thankful for all those who took care of me during this episode. All I can say is that I am grateful for God’s grace to hear my prayer and answer my plea to have extra time with my beloved husband and children. I know by faith that I will be ‘home’ with my Father in heaven one day. While it was not 25th February 2025, I hope to continue living in a way that when it is time to leave earth, I will have joy, peace and thanksgiving.

So here’s my sincere request for us, parents. When was the last time you reviewed your insurance coverage? Is it aligned with your current stage of life? Will it give your family breathing space when life takes an unexpected turn?

👉 If you’re unsure, do this today.
Call your trusted advisor to schedule a review of your coverage — for the well-being of your beloved spouse and children.

Because when life catches us off guard…
Being prepared is one of the greatest gifts we can leave behind.